A get donkey! Coming Attraction
Does the political commentary on get donkey! send your blood pressure soaring to dangerous levels?
Does coverage of exciting stories such as dead people diamonds put an unnecessary strain on the old blood-pump?
Do you equate the phrase “Televised Curling Coverage” with “Pulse-Pounding Action”?
When someone describes an upcoming event as “about as exciting as watching grass grow”, do you say, “Well then, count me in!”?
Are you tired of all these questions?
Well do we have a treat for you! Coming soon to a browser near you get donkey! Presents “Hey get donkey!, How Does Your Garden Grow?”.
That’s right, in mere hours, via the modern miracle of digital photography; you will be able to thrill to images of vegetable bearing plant life. But not just any plant-life. Oh, no! These plant-lives reside on the grounds of Rancho del Burro– the Official Home of get donkey!
“Why are you doing this to us!?” you ask.
Well I’ll tell you why.
About a month ago, I was tooling around town in the donkey-mobile with the radio tuned to Houston’s bastion of ultra-leftwing commentary: KPFT 90.1 FM, “The Sound of Texas”. I don’t recall what the program was, but the guest was Bob Randall. Dr Randall is one of the founders of Urban Harvest, a non-profit organization dedicated to creating community gardens within the city of Houston. When I tuned in he was talking about how easy it is to grow organic vegetables in Houston, and he mentioned his book “Year Round Vegetables, Fruits and Flowers for Metro Houston”. I’m not sure why, but I immediately thought to myself, “I can grow stuff. I like growing stuff! If I grow vegetables, I can eat the fun!” The seed was sown (apologies).
That weekend, I rushed out to, Buchanan’s Native Plants, my favorite local gardening outlet and purchased Randall’s book. Soon the dark arts of hoeing and sowing would be mine to master.
I read the book, and began planning my plot. Unable to contain my glee, I relayed my excitement to my wife. At the first mention of the word “nematode”, she was convinced I had gone completely off my gourd.
“But I can grow stuff! Stuff we can eat!” I exclaimed.
“Sure, whatever,” she replied as she surfed over to howtocommitalovedone.com.
It didn’t matter. I was a man obsessed. The next day, I communicated my intentions to my friend Marc, who, in his special, understanding way, immediately began referring to me as “Sissy” and “Garden-boy”.
Undaunted, I pressed on. By the next Saturday I had purchased lumber, a trusty hoe, 100 feet of leaky hose, and a box of stakes. I already had an on-site compost heap and a huge pile of soil. That morning I began constructing and filling a wood-hewn raised garden bed in which to sow my dream.
It took several hours of toil in the blazing Houston sun, but by mid-afternoon, my work was done. I had constructed a 4-foot by 8-foot plot into which I planted beans, peppers, cucumbers, zucchini, and tomatoes.
That was 3 Saturdays ago, and now stuff is really starting to happen. Certain among the naysayers, however, have remained unconvinced. They request photographic proof of my endeavor. “Why don’t you put it up on the site”, one critic proposed, and so an idea was born. Now you too get to suffer through enjoy the little project along with me.
Starting this evening, or perhaps tomorrow, I will begin posting photographs in an attempt to document my progress. At worst this action will prompt Google searches for “naked bean photos” or “caged tomato pr0n”. Conversely, if all goes to plan, you may see the words, “Zucchini Raffle” appear on this site come September. If everything doesn’t die, I may even add another bed in late September/early October! So mark your calendars and tell your friends — a horticultural adventure awaits!
Whoo-boy…now right there was a prime example of the kind of high quality post we’ve come to expect from the fine folks at get donkey! Yes sir. One hunka fancy footwork.
Um, the term ‘critic’ may have been a little too kind, however.
Comment by Marc | 8/26/2002
I’m so happy, I can hardly contain myself.
I myself grow a few herbs that I dry and use for bread recipes. Nothing like fresh basil. We also use the jasmine for soaps.
Comment by Laurence Simon | 8/26/2002
Marc,
The self-editors would not let me use “assmunch”, so “critic” will have to suffice.
Laurence,
Basil and Oregano were gateway herbs for me. Soon, you too may find yourself knee deep in beans and broccoli. You know, the hard stuff.
BTW, how do you make soap? Please don’t tell me you got the recipe from Fight Club.
Comment by Rob Humenik | 8/26/2002
Two words…webcam.
Comment by Marc | 8/26/2002
You’re never satisfied, are you, Marc?
Comment by Rob Humenik | 8/26/2002
i managed to kill far too many seedlings earlier this year, but we’ve done very well in the basil / sage / serrano pepper department. and this very weekend i built a nifty brick raised bed in anticipation of better veggie success next year (or this fall if i can get motivated).
Comment by erica | 8/26/2002
Yay! Gardening! Shall I share my thrilling tales of the battle against tomato hornworms?
Comment by Devra | 8/26/2002
Hmm, was there swordplay invloved in the hornworm wars?
Perhaps if I kill everything (85% likely) I will need a guest gardener. How about “Talkin’ Pests with Devra”?
Comment by Rob Humenik | 8/27/2002
It was pure hand-to-hand combat, Rob.
My Houston-dwelling buddy Doc tells me y’all have had a gorgeous summer, so I wish you veggie growing success. May the sun be kind and the rain only fall when the plants are thirsty.
Comment by Devra | 8/27/2002